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mood |
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music |
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Coldplay "In my Place" |
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I remember this as I remember the alphabet. This is a romantic story that is one of my highlights in my life. I do admit that I’m a sucker for fate and destiny. The words love at first site hits me every time I see her. Although I hide my true feelings for her, and she might never know how much she means to me, but I assure that there is a plan for this whole situation. Now, there is no happy ending to this tale, in fact there is no ending at all. I believe that fate will bring us together someway, somehow.
The cool air breezed outside, as my friend and I were shooting hoops. It was the summer going into ninth grade and just like everyone, I to sweat enormously to the thought of high school. High school determines what you’re going to do for the rest of your life and I guess I wasn’t ready.
The year before I had trouble finding a girlfriend. Either my standards were too high or I just couldn’t find the right person. All of the girls I knew were like mindless zombies and they had no personality whatsoever. Sure they were all good-looking and their innuendo usually brought me to my knees but looks can only get you so far in a relationship. On the other hand my best friend tony was in a relationship based on looks and it appeared he was doing just fine. I’m not like tony at. One of the most important parts in finding a girl attractive is their personality. The mysterious type is the one I like. The kind that keeps me guessing.
The topic that was brought up made my stomach knot, my heartbeat, a slow echoing beat. Sweat perspired from underneath my arm, and drenched the lower part of my sleeves. The topic that made my hair on my body freeze and protrude upwards like needles jammed in my arms. The topic was her. Even the name gave my goose bumps, goose bumps. That name, the only name that I could repeat for hours on end that brings the meaning to the word soul mate. But the question that shot out of Tony’s mouth, and stabbed me right in the heart.
“Is she still going out with $%#$”, he asked curiously
As I tried to swallow the pain, I slowly answered
“Ya… think she is”, I replied stuttering.
There was another name that basically gave me the total opposite feeling I had with her. $%#$ , the culprit, the one who through the dagger that just happened to hit me dead center in heart, her boyfriend. Now, I have no grudge on him, no heated anger when I see him with her, but I still dislike the fact that I’m the one watching. With arms trembling and knees weakening, I quickly changed the subject.
“So tomorrow’s the big day”, I said abruptly.
“Uh…ya”, he replied with a question tone.
About a billion things were running through my mind at that point. The thoughts of what I’m going to wear or if I’m going to find my classes or not. Those thoughts were soaring, dipping, and constantly moving through my mind. The last shot I took sunk in like the titanic. The night drew near, and tony and I said our goodbyes, as we both went inside our houses preparing for the big leap. I remember going on aim and instantly look at the away message that was put up by her. Glancing at it and then feeling that let down once again. It said out with, $%#$ with a smiley face at the end of it. Time and time again I always get my hopes about her and then when I see things like this I always get myself down about it. I should have just taken it as it was and tried to make the best of it. Avoiding the thought, I signed off and sat down on the couch. The thought of high school was still on my mind and I couldn’t think of anything else but it. That night, it seemed like time moved faster. I wish it had froze. I did all the typical things that I would do every night. But tonight each thing seemed more important. It felt like everything was going to be different come next morning. Brushing, showering, and eating, I did all those things slowly. Savoring each moment that night, like it was my last real day. I went to sleep that night, with intentions on starting my life all over again. I felt that this was my chance to start a whole new future. The vision of her beauty instilled in my mind as I drifted into a heavy slumber. That morning everything in my life had the volume turned down. Everything moved slower, and everything seemed to have their own shadow. The bus ride to the school was just the same. As I looked out the window, all the trees and houses seemed newer, like I’ve never seen them before.
I got off the bus and slowly walked toward the doors. The second I walked in and just thought to myself wow this is it. Sweating, and drenching the bottom of my sleeves, I took a glance to my right and there she was, with the same scared look on her face as me. She gave me the smile that almost made me fall to the ground. I approached her with that same smile.
“So this is it”, I said looking around the hall of the school.
“Ya, doesn’t seem so bad”, she said with a soft laugh.
As the bell rang, we walked alone down the hall to find our lockers. No sign of $%#$, although I still knew they were still going out. The first day of the rest of my life, and I shared it with the girl that has my heart. As I said before, fate will bring us together someway, somehow.
As you can see, there isn’t an ending to this tale. The perfect ending for me would be her and me together. This memory is important to me because when I needed somewhere there that was just as nervous as I was. The only person I would spend the whole day with for the rest of my life was there. I think that kick started my whole high school life in a good way. It took away all the nervousness and the fear of it. It gave me a safety net and it told me whatever I’m feeling, she is probably feeling the same way.
The only thing that really matters
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philly_man's journal
contemplative